Monday, February 25, 2013

Taxonomy: Nosferatu

Amongst the most famous and feared of all the dark creatures are the Vampires. These ageless monsters prey on humanity seeing us little more than cattle. They are a parasitic species and flourish as we flourish.
This entry’s purpose is to establish the proper nomenclature of the Vampire.

Kingdom: Animalia
Even at the highest level their taxonomy has raised many questions before on whether to classify the victims as part of the disease. However only a portion of vampires are created through a disease, others are created by Magic and unknown means.

Phylum: Chordata
All known vampires fit the requirements for a Chordate creature.

Class: Paradoxa
Being creatures that do not fit within the normal biological constraints Vampires fall under the Class Paradoxa.

Order: Nocturnae
As with all Nocturnal creatures, vampires solely operate at night. While with protection they can survive and function during the day their abilities are greatly reduced.

Family: Nosophoridae
The Nosphos or disease bearing creatures are those monsters that can infect and turn others into their own kind. The decision to put vampires into the Nosophoridae Family and not the Necromunidae is still a heated debate by Crypto-zoologists. However while generally considered undead, vampires often still have heartbeats, pulse, and other differences from normal undead. In this regards they are closer to werewolves (Order Nosophoridae) than to Ghouls (Order Necromunidae).

Genus: Nosferatu
All vampires fall within the Nosferatu Genus. From here vampires are separated into species based on their origin, first known sire, notable feature, or historic act.

Examples of this include the vampires descended from the first murderer Kain, (Nosferatu Traditor), Dracula (Nosferatu Imperator), and many others. To date there are over a hundred separate species of Nosferatu recorded. Although through the ceaseless work of the hunters which protect us many of these species are now considered extinct.

Common Weaknesses:

All Nosferatu suffer from a severe allergy to Fire, Silver, Sunlight, and Blessed Elements. They will find wounds inflicted with any of these items to be extremely damaging and difficult to repair. Each species and even individual vampires display varying levels of allergy to these elements, much as a normal human would to allergies.

Certain other items such as garlic will affect some Nosferatu, but not others. Examples of this would be that while garlic will repel a N. Traditor it would have no effect on the N. Salire (Jianshi or Hopping Vampire). On the other hand glutinous rice is a valid weapon on a N. Salire and has no effect on the N. Traditor. It is suspected that this has something to do with the primogenitor of each line, but this is pure speculation.

Friday, February 22, 2013

The Power of a Blanket


Hunters fight their prey armed with holy weapons and knowledge. They protect us clad with Faith and Armor. The monsters that hunt humanity are foul beyond belief and deserve the cleansing flame.

Before I discussed the Family Pavoridae and their threat to our children. These most innocent of beings are hunted for their sweet terror. However in laboratory and hidden camera conditions we have found that children are not completely defenseless against what goes bump in the night and drinks fear like a fine wine.

Editors Note: Only one child was seriously harmed in the course of the Study and she was righteously avenged.

The techniques are easily demonstrable and can be easily taught to children as a last line of defense.

First: Blankets work.

A child’s blanket is a powerful weapon in resisting evil. While there are many creatures it will not stop such as werewolves, there are numerous creatures that it will.

For many creatures such as the Pavoridae who feed off fear, ghosts who are incorporeal, and many other creatures belief is more powerful than any physical weapon.

Therefore if a child puts his head under the blankets and truly believes that nothing can get him as long as they stay under the covers, they won’t be wrong. In many ways the purity of a child’s directed belief can be more of a deterrent than the most devout priest with a holy symbol.

However as with most belief and blessings, if a child were to learn that the blanket is not always effective or that the basis for the blanket’s protection is little more than the child itself, then the beliefs are no longer pure. This will weaken and even negate the protection offered by the thin sheet of cloth.

An adult knows just how weak and flimsy a sheet is and how it could never protect against anything. The subconscious will interfere and prevent the same defense.

Second: Light Switch/Lamp

Amongst the greatest inventions to protect humanity against the dark is the light bulb. It bathes our homes and surroundings in joyous light without burning and keeps the night at bay. No more huddling around torches and fires staring out into the infinite black.

People fear the dark because in our racial genetic memory we will always remember the claws and fangs of predators which live beyond our sight. We have good reason to fear it still and many children know this fear until adulthood has us suppress it (usually).

Night lights offer limited protection from those creatures which shun the light, but they can also cast long shadows which only heighten a child’s fears and give those stalking our young more power.

Bedside lamps and light switches nearby to overhead lights are of immeasurable value to a youth. As a general rule the hundreds of monstrous species that make up the Order Nocturnid will avoid or abandon prey bathed in light. From these creatures, while bathed in a halo of artificial light, a child is as safe as they would be surrounded by a phalanx of Templars.

Important Note: While a bedside or overhead light will banish the darkness, a torch/flashlight can have the opposite effect. Within its cone no monsters will be seen, but outside of that limited radius the shadows deepen, our night vision fails, and the fear can grow. While not completely without merit this device can occasionally make things worse, especially against a creature which feeds off of fear.

Final: Close your eyes and count to five

There are two ways that this exercise helps.

The first is that the act of the child closing their eyes and counting will distract them. They won’t be able to see the nothingness, just their own self made darkness. The noise of them counting will echo inside their head, even if it is a silent count. (It’s better to be a silent count as any extra noise will only attract a creature more intently to its prey). This personal noise will sound much louder than any background noise and allow the potential victim to not focus on what might be there.

The second form of assistance is that it will actually calm the child down. Many creatures hunt and feed on fear. The less fear that a victim gives off the less appetizing and appealing that target becomes. This means that if the child is not already being stalked by a monster it lowers the chance of them being the most attractive target.

The truth of the matter is that there is no perfect way of protecting your child from the dangers that exist, but with a few easy techniques you can greatly increase their odds.


Read these words and take them to heart my young friend.

There are creatures out there that mean you no good.

However your loved ones/parents/guardians/teacher/friends (Circle/Highlight the one that best fits) have decided to help protect you from this evil.

When you are put to bed all you need to do is follow three easy steps and nothing can ever hurt you.

1: Your blanket will protect you from harm. By pulling the sheets over your head a monster will be lost and confused. They will be unable to find or hurt you and will flee. *THE BLANKETS ONLY WORK WHILE YOU ARE IN BED*

2: Monsters hate light. If you have a bedside lamp or a light switch next to your bed*DO NOT GET OUT OF BED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TOUCHING THE FLOOR WILL KILL YOU* then you can turn on the lights and all the monsters will flee. If you only have a torch or flashlight then turn it on and shine it around the room once. The evil will flee its light, afterwards pull your bed covers over you and you will have both light and a protective cover, no creature in existence can beat this indestructible combination.

3: If you can’t see them they can’t hurt you. If you followed steps one and two you are untouchable, however for an extra boost of safety shut your eyes and count slowly to five. If you are unable to count to five just count to as high as you can and start over five times. *STAY QUIET OR THEY MIGHT HEAR YOU AND WHATEVER HAPPENS STAY IN BED*

By following these three easy steps nothing will ever be able to hurt you ever again.


Thursday, February 21, 2013

CDC Outbreak

The Center for Disease Control is continuing their long history of preparing for the worst should our valiant hunters ever fail to stem the tide of darkness.

With so many species capable of reproducing by bite and other means through humans the CDC has expanded their scope from zombies to all monster outbreaks.

We here at HA appreciate the tireless efforts of these public servants working to educate the public on the dangers that lurk in the darkness.

For the purpose of the app the user takes the roll of an investigator who is working to contain an outbreak. Quarantine the village, question the infected, etc.

Unfortunately putting the infected to the flames does not appear to be a prevalent option, but we have hopes that this will be remedied in a later patch.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Stories from the Edge: Disclaimer

This is the first post that begins a series of creepy/true stories, sometimes passed down by legend, over a campfire, or found recently.

We at Holy Ammunition LLC do not claim credit for many of these stories, and will always state so with Author Unknown. We will try to give credit where it is due and locate the author or any possible source before publishing on the blog.

If any author sees work they have published on this site please contact us using the contact link or We will investigate the validity of the claim and if any evidence can be offered to back the claim we will be more than happy to credit your work however you wish.

If anyone would like to expand or add to these tales with further information, back story, or point of view. Please either email us or add it into the comments and we will be happy to update the story.

Many of the stories come from the hunter files and debriefings of clients and personnel of Holy Ammunition LLC. These have been written down in our vaults over the years and preserved as guides for other hunters.
If anyone has a creepy story they would like published and made available to the public then please email us the story and if it peaks the Ammo Reverend’s interests then we will publish it.

It should be noted that this is not creepypasta nor crappypasta. The stories here are related to hunters and hunter's misfortunes and not meant to be what these two excellent websites host. Editor's Note: One of them is an excellent site the other will make you cry tears of blood....In a bad way. This is not a place to try because you got rejected from one (or both, God help your soul) of the sites.

Story recovered from HA safe house in Cairo.

Don’t fall asleep, that’s when they come for you in those last few moments of wakefulness. As you fall asleep they press at your skin trying to get in, this manifests as itches all over the body.

Let out from that half realm there is no telling what evil they can do. They may have once been alive like you and I, but something happened. There are more of them every year, scratching at our arms and legs trying to get in.

It is impossible to describe them in any detail as they exist between states. They are powerless while you are awake and normally powerless once you are asleep, but in those lulling moments as you fall into yourself they are powerful.

Take care not to linger to long in that time between dreams. I don’t know who they are or where they come from, but they are not friendly. Sometimes one will get through and that’s when the darkest of nightmares occur, the ones when you are running and something is pursuing you or when you know there is something stalking you but you can’t run, or hide, or scream.

You need to fall asleep and wake up, that’s all you can do to prevent them from getting through. Ignore the sounds at the limits of your hearing, the itching, the movement that isn't there. They're trying to keep you from falling asleep and in the halfway state.

Too long spent at the edge of sleep just means that more of them can gather and try to get in; don’t look for them, don’t speak to them, don't wonder. Just sleep.

*** Security tapes recovered shows a single team member leaving the building. Of a six man squad only ****NAME REDACTED****** was ever seen and is being sought by inquisitors for questioning.***

Monday, February 18, 2013

Taxonomy Pavoridae

There are many shadow creatures that prey on the young and innocent. Some such as the boogeyman are well known others less so. However in each and every culture of the world there is something that is ingrained in the human psyche, some creature that compels parents to recount tales of it to their children.

“If you don’t go to sleep the Bogeyman/Dark Man will get you.”

“If you don’t eat your supper Oude Roge Ogen/Bloody Bones will eat you.”

“If you lie then the Small man/Bua will steal you away.”

These creatures draw their strength from terror. It is the defining trait of the creatures that make up the Family Pavoridae.

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Paradoxa
Order: Nocturnid
Family: Pavoridae

The classification literally reads as Night Terrors, Nocturnid(derived from Night) Pavoridae(derived from the latin Pavor, meaning to Tremble or shake). Pavoridae literally draw sustenance from the terror of humans. Repeated experiments have shown our researchers that the most pure form of terror can be harvested from adolescents over the age of 3, but below the age of 14.

Interestingly enough we also discovered that 14 to 21 year olds produce the lowest extractable terror of any age group on average. The cause of this is not known but the most popular hypothesis is that they know just enough to be foolish but not enough to actually be scared.

This does not mean that the Pavoridae will not prey on older victims; however the nourishment they draw is considerably less potent. A way of better understanding this would be the difference between a human consuming a Steak as opposed to a hamburger patty.

While the actual process of converting terror into sustenance is not well known or understood certain details have been uncovered. Different species use different mechanisms to extract the needed essence.

The Pavoridae are divided into four Sub-families. These sub-families divide the Terror eaters into three distinct categories.

Pavorinae: Fear Mongers

The most common variant of the night terrors, Pavorinae do not kill to feed. They are able to absorb the terror that radiates from an individual and consume it without doing any physical act to the victim.

Examples of this include the American Boogeyman (Amarius Putricant) and German Dark Man (Amarius Ater). While creatures of fear many of their victims are completely unaware of their presence. Often the creek in the hall, a thump in the night, or even complete and utter silence is the only signs that one of this variety is around.

Other times an opening door, a feeling of being watched, or even red eyes in the night betray their presence. The actual Modus Operandi differs not just from Species to species, but even from individual to individual. Most major cities can have dozens of Fear Mongers hunting within it at any time.

However while some are relatively benign and can live off of natural radiant fear others need more potent doses. They are the ones that scare and even injure humans in pursuit of nourishment. It should be noted that while Pavorinae do not have to consume their victims for sustenance, many do anyway.
As they get no nourishment from eating, in fact the very act of consuming the victim prevents them from getting any further nutrition; scientists have only been able to conclude that they do it out of spite or pleasure.

Caroninae: Flesh Eaters

Unlike the more benign Pavorinae the Flesh eaters are a vile breed. They are unable to process the fear that a victim generates like the Fear Mongers, instead they must consume the victims flesh to gain the nourishment.

Included in this sub-family are monsters such as the Belgium Oude Roge Ogen(Rubra Canis) and Egyptian Abu Rigl Maslukha (Bipedius Ustolo)

As fear drenched meat is vital to their diet most Caroninae have methods and techniques to keep their victims conscious and aware as they are eaten. 

While most Pavoridae are loners and solitary creatures, a distinguishing trait about the Caroninae is that they tend to have large hunting stocks and will not tolerate other Caroninae or Abripinae within their territory although they ignore most non-carnivorous Pavorinae. The territory of a Flesh Eater will have less to do with geographic boundaries and more to do with population.

A prime example of this is the situation in the United States. While only a single suspected and unconfirmed Caroninae hunts Alaska and only three inhabit the state of Washington, recent estimates put New York City as home to nearly a dozen separate Caroninae.

Abripinae: The Child Stealers

Abripinae are thankfully the rarest of the Pavoridae. The Abripinae are only able to feed on fear in their lairs. These lairs are hard to find, some not even being purely in phase with the human world.
The sub-family is the smallest; two examples of these are Chinese Ou-Wu (Potens Femines) or the Bahamian “Small Man” (Potens Parva).

Abripinae share another distinction from Cavorinae and Pavorinae. They are always intelligent, while the other two can often have little more than the intellect of an animal. They have been observed using tools and communicating with not just other creatures but often the ones the victims they steal.
Some of their kind even reproduce using their victims. Those taken by Abripinae may eventually return or be loosed from the lairs as monsters themselves.

These monsters go bump in the night and live for your fear, as with anything that preys on humans they need to be driven into the light and destroyed. Being of the order Nocturnid they are very sensitive to light and as long as the life giving sun is out stay hidden away from humanity.
During night well-lit places offer safety and security from the majority of these beings. However it should be noted that many of the more intelligent Pavoridae have learned from humans to wear hooded cloaks and other garments to hide themselves from lights at night. Strangely these same garments offer them no protection against the scorching majesty of the sun itself.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Canada Protects Itself From Zombies

Many governments stand idle and choose to ignore the darkness that threatens to engulf humanity. Some even go so far as to make it more difficult for citizens to defend themselves and to hunt down the evil that lurks in the shadows.

Canada however has shown great foresight and wisdom by addressing this issue in their House of Commons.

While Canada has shamefully limited its citizens ability to defend themselves with restrictive gun laws at least they are attempting to protect their people with international coordination and a well thought out plan in case of emergency.

MP Pat Martin deserves the highest praise for bringing this issue before the House of Commons who so vigorously accept his words as sense. One MP was so giddy with relief he almost falls down in a fit of laughter (to the right of Pat Martin at 0:15 mark).

The rousing applause and cheering from the House (0:45) shows the universal support.

Finally John Baird, the Minister of Foreign Affairs (0:57) confirms that he will be working with his American Counter parts to ensure the safety of two sovereign nations.

If only all governments in the world were as forward thinking and supportive of humanity as Canada when it comes to combating the legions of evil. Now if only the country would work more towards into eliminating the final bastion of Sasquatch located within their borders they would truly stand as a beacon of hope in this world.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Body Armor and its effectiveness

One of the most important things to remember when hunting the minions of evil is protection. Many people just naturally assume because the thing you are hunting can throw a motorbike or rip a person’s head off with its bare talons that there is nothing that can be done for protection.

This is far from true and shows a distinct short sightedness on the part of the hunter. While it is true that normal bullet proof vests are of only limited use there are many alternative selections and protective devices that may be employed.

Bullet Proof vests: While these vest are useful in facing those creatures which make use of modern firearms it does not deal with many of the more common threats and natural weapons that monsters can bring to bear. The protection against firearms and weapons that rely on blunt force such as a thrown rock or club will be enhanced with stab protection.

Protection of a vest is established by the National Institute of Justice they have standards that work out as follows:

Type IIA: This is the lowest recognized level of protection. They are lightweight thin vests that will protect again a 9mm short or a .40 S&W round.

Type II: Second lowest level. Only slightly more protection it will stop penetration from a 9mm or .357 magnum.

Type IIIA: Bulkier, weighs about as much as a heavy jacket. It will stop .357 SIG & .44 Magnum rounds.

Type III: Either Plate or extremely Heavy Weave. This is designed to stop up to 7.62mm Rifle Rounds.

Type IV: Heaviest Vest Class. Usually a mixture of flexible vest and ceramic/steel inserts. It is designed to stop .30 caliber armor piercing rounds.

Many bullet proof vests are now also rated on stab and spike protection. These vests are excellent for protecting an individual from claws and fangs of the night’s denizens.

Stab vs Spike: The difference between nail and tooth. A stab is also known as a “knife edge” strike or the slash of a werewolf’s claws, while Spike would be more along the lines of a stinger, pincers, and horns.

Level 1: Will stop a fang or claw that impacts the armor with low energy 24-36 Joules, equivalent to a ghoul’s claws or a memphit’s sting.

Level 2: Will stop a strike of 33-50 Joules, equivalent to the swipe from a Japanese Baku or the beak of a Valravn.

Level 3: Will stop between 43-65 Joules of an impact, equivalent to an Amarok’s claws or a Manticore’s sting.

Now it is important to remember that just because it won’t stop everything doesn’t mean that it won’t slow it down or protect you. While there is little short of a brick wall that would stop a Minotaur’s horns from goring a man, it can mean the difference between being cut and being eviscerated.

There are other means of defending yourself, although in the modern world they may cause a raised eyebrow or two.

Chainmail is extremely good against slashing attacks, but offer limited protection against modern weapons or stabbing attacks.

Plate armor offers some of the best protection available against a monster’s claws, however the loss of mobility and extra weight generally negate the gained protection.

Leather jackets add a small amount of protection against both environmental hazards as well as the tools of monsters. It won’t draw too much attention in public, has no legal restrictions (most places), and can make the hunter look cool (a very real concern amongst many younger male hunters).

Motorcycle armor is often overlooked, but very useful. It is light enough to be worn under large jackets, offers excellent joint and impact protection, and is relatively inexpensive. One of the most useful components that many hunters have taken to wearing is the spine guard from such sets.

As always, knowledge is the hunter’s best defense when it comes to the forces of evil. Intangible and ethereal creatures will find faith and a strong holy defense more of a barrier than even the thickest armor while many dumb brutes will gladly swallow your holy symbol with the rest of your body. 

All forms of protection made by Holy Ammunition LLC come with not just physical protection but also charms and prayers woven into the very essence to best protect those who would protect humanity. While we are not able to foresee all calamities that might befall we believe in giving our clients the greatest possible level of protection for the best price.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Animalia Paradoxa

The basis of biological nomenclature was begun by the famous botanist Carl Linnaeus in the eighteenth century. Linnaeus is considered to be the father of modern Taxonomy, naming and classifying living creatures and fossils.

He is also in many ways that father of modern crypto zoology as well. In his paper Systema Natura Linnaeus defined the three original Kingdoms (Animal, Plant, and Mineral).

Beneath the Animal Kingdom he classified animals as belonging to seven categories; under the first six he placed the regular animals. The seventh category he reserved for those creatures which defied normal convention, Animalia Paradoxa or “contradictory animals”.

While not having the modern wealth of knowledge he placed several obvious fakes into the category Pardoxa, but thanks to his endeavors we are capable of properly identifying and sorting the abominations of this world. This sorting method allows our archivists to better serve hunters by ensuring that creatures are filed appropriately.

The majority of Monsters fall under the following:
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Paradoxa

Originally Paradoxa served as the equivalent to a phylum under Linnaeus, however with the modern structuring of taxonomic nomenclature it has been downgraded to a Class within the Phylum Chordata. A few monstrous creatures such as the Kraken do not fit within the Paradoxa class and fall within other relations.

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Mollusca
Class: Cephalopoda
Subclass: Coleoidea
Order: Teuthida
Suborder: Oegopsina
Family: Architeuthidae
Genus: Architeuthis
Species: Architeuthis Megacrinia (Giant Tentacle)

Paradoxa works extremely well as what are commonly considered monsters could fall under multiple other classes. An example of this would be a Manticore, this chimera like creature can fall under multiple classes, Reptilia, Aves, and Mamalia. Certain species even share characteristics of the Phylum Athropoda.

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Paradoxa
Order: Mutanid
Family: Chimidae
Genus: Manticora
Species: Manticora Avescorpio

A Manticora Avescorpio is a species of Manticore found primarily in the Eastern Mediterranean region. Reports of this creature first began appearing when men intruded on its home during the first century AD. It is characterized differently from others of its Genus by the tail which resembles a massive scorpion stinger and its wings.

Other Species of the Manticore exist, some only have wings (Manticora Aves) others merely the scorpion tail (Manticora Scorpio), many other varieties exist as well.

With the basic structure in place Dark Archivists, Crypto-Zoologists, and Meta-Scientists serve the light by codifying the strengths and weaknesses of monsters. This allows our hunters to bring fire and death to where they prey on mankind.

This blog post is the first in a series exploring part of the Animalia Paradoxa and the creatures that comprise it.